I think i owe you an explanation.
I've fallen into a deep trap - Instagram and facebook trap that is. And I think it's an easy trap to fall into if you're a blogger, or writer, and in my case, a talker. Twice or trice a week I post something there, I share a photo and include a little caption, thinking am getting it all out there. The truth is, I'm not. I forgot a lot of important things in my life, things that matter, things you are not supposed to forget, like your blogger password. Not kidding. One evening, Yllac miraculously went to bed early and I suddenly wanted to blog, but I don't know what happened, things got mixed up and I cannot open my blog. And I just gave up. That's it then, I guess I needed a little break.
So anyway, here's a real life-lately update.
Right now, Life is good. This year, I went through a few sad days. And it went on and on .... and on. Being alone sucks. Maybe I was depressed, maybe a little sad and a lot tired. The most depressing part of it, was the fact that I couldn't move on. I wasn't even trying to cheer myself up. I stopped reaching out to people, stopped talking to my friends. I let myself get quiet for a long time. But then there's Yllac, every morning, when he wakes me up, he kind of zapped my sad feelings away. My son is a soaring little boy, I feel lucky to be his mom. Even though I know some little peeks of sadness will come back any time of the day, it's okay, Ill just go with the flow.
My story through this blog will always get written, re written, i will disclose some, omit some and will keep some forever a secret, and I don't know how it will end, that's for sure. Even f I am my life's story teller. All we can do is go with the flow, having faith in something or some powerful being that the choices and decisions we make are the best ones, not just for us but for all the people whom we belong to.
What I'm trying to say is, we all have our "stuff". The stupid stuff, the tough stuff, the moronic stuff we can't stop giving up, the shitty stuff that makes us all feel alone and sad even when we're not. The mistakes, the cruel things we've said, and regretting not saying the loveliest of words to those who truly care for us. I am mortal, insecure, impatient and a lot of times I feel stupid. And because life is life, we all move on. Maybe, if you're like me when everything is going really really good, you cannot help but hope and wish to make life stay that way forever. But you know too, in the smallest part of your being you know life cannot stay that happy forever. Nothing ever stays the same. But this mindset allows us to hope that in the darkest of days, they will soon get better.
Today, I feel better. Even my hair is feeling all kinds of gorgeousness today. I know there will be gray days, but i try to live my life in a way that i look at things in a positive light. It's a though thing to do especially when I know that deep deep deep down inside I feel all kinds of blues
So anyway, Hi you! I am back. I miss you and I miss me too.
Id like to share some photos from last month, starting from the day when my whole family is here. And I hope, I can find time to sit in my kitchen for my quiet time and gather my thoughts. Not that I have that many thoughts but i miss doing this.
Seriously though, photo exhibit a:
I wish this was a real camera, so i can see what's the world like through his angle. I bought this at a gas station. It's just a toy camera, a "Lightning Mcqueen" slide camera with projector. It's so funny to see him pick up what Jayson is doing when he takes pictures. I mean, he was so obsessed, both with the camera and his Dad. Yllac took a lot of pictures of me, of my shoes, of Jollibee, of rocks and floors and puppies and one time, taking a photo of his own hand while on a laptop. And my laptop is off. Hey, kid! I am your mama, can't fool me. (I wish I could say, "I don't know where he gets that")
We were out most days for the last two months. Getting sunshine and fresh air. Endless walks during the night and lots of cuddling. I mean a lot! The great part of the last two months of this year, is that we've never been home and it's part exhilarating and tiring. But mostly fun. I am at my best when i have my two boys with me somewhere far. Again, i wish this could go on forever.
Merry merry Christmas to you my friend! Wishing each of you happy holidays with your loved ones. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, as always, for stopping by.