June 29, 2013

Making A Happy List Makes Me Happy...

  1. Yllac's top-knot. Photo evidence to follow.
  2. Lots of cuddling.
  3. Movie nights.
  4. Give up my need to always be right, give up complaining, give up living my life to other people's expectation. c",) weehee! Give up all the nonsense stuff. yah know what I mean?
  5. Fluffy slippers and Joseph Gordon Levitt. yah know what I mean?
  6. Finding a special treasure at the thrift store. yah know what I mean?
  7. Reading at least 2 chapters of Inferno every night before my whole body completely shut down.
  8. Chicken wings.
  9. Skype.
  10. NAPTIME.
Single parenting can be a slog sometimes. Jayson has been away for almost two months now. TWO MONTHS. I am just happy we are still alive here. But you know me, Im a bit dramatic most times. But you get it right? And then some days start to feel blue, I try my best to see the silver linings of a slugging week. I mean, that's the whole point of a Happy List, to see and appreciate the little things, even when you are exhausted, and home-sick, and your back is killing you from being your toddler's horsy ride -actually that was fun, or sleep deprived - never fun, or up to your lashes in poop - hilarious! 

Happy Weekend folks. I wish you a long fun weekend. 

June 26, 2013

1000th Blog Post! HEllo!!!!


...this is how we roll inside the elevator.

For my 1000th blog post I wanted to talk about how our in house mosquitoes drove us out of our home last weekend... Exciting ei?

So it's been raining for the last two weeks. FUN! lemme tell you I am having fun. But last weekend we woke up to a gazillion of partying mosquitoes mostly having the time of their pesky lives on our dinning and kitchen area. Yllac served as their breakfast and they ate my legs for lunch. We were outnumbered. It was like a scene in Piranha 3DD. Yup I happened to watch that two days ago and it scared the shoot out of me. Not really. But Yllac loves it. He thinks those fish and the people are just having a rough play. So, I ran out of ammos aka baygon, but I still have a little left in one of my cans. So we decided to go out and get more. This is waaaaar people! But before all the bloodshed, I massacred three or maybe four of them inside our bedroom. Clean kill. I gassed them to death. So happy. Thrilled! And then we took off. So, how you may ask they got inside our house on the first place? Well, they happen to be so good at hiding inside our laundry. Since it's raining non stop last week, we dry our clothes on the shaded area at the back of our home. Little did we know, that these piranha mosquitoes hide inside our clothes and they unleash their deamoness when they reach inside our home. Brilliant pests! But God made people intelligenter than these goons and BAAAM! - on the eight day, there was Baygon.

So anyhoooo... I took a lot of pictures that day too. What else is new?  Here they are.


endless entertainment for my toddler


jackstones! nope, i did not get him one. he'd eat the stars Im pretty sure


the killers


Yllac checking out the laaadies, and oooh i tried a black pants. Did.Not.Fit.


i am dying with his man-of-steel-hair. This hair is mama-approved!


These days, Mickey Mouse is our third wheel. Goes with us everywhere. Also last weekend, was the cheapest date of my life. I ordered two servings of maki for me and a bowl of sticky rice for Yllac and two glasses of red iced tea for 190 pesos. I mean, small town lifestyle is groovin' the best of my life.

Sooooo, this is my 1000th post. WOW! I am a talker huh? Seriously, I don't know what I'm doing here talking about bits and pieces of my life. Right now, I felt like a totally different person from the person I was when I started this blog. A lot has changed. And what a surprise that you are still here. Thank you for being a huge supporter of this blog all these years. Sometimes I wonder what you really think of me? But I choose not to know. Those are some dangerous territories I am not gonna explore. But you know, I can't choose what people will take from this blog, but I hope you will take with you the spirit and message of finding the joy and fun in life. Life is not perfect. In a perfect world, we're all Brad Pitts and Angelina Jolies. But we're not. I am Denise and you are YOU. Unique. Sometimes life is a big freak, but I choose to look at what I am blessed than seek for what I do not have. It's a lot of work, will power and a lot of self hypnosis to find the joy in my daily life. I guess it's all about positivity. It's difficult but not impossible. c",) Happy Wednesday folks.

Fist pump to 1000th post! yay!

June 25, 2013

Mirror Image...

mirror image
mirror image
mirror image
mirror image
mirror image

Okay, I can explain.

More than a month ago I set up my tripod outside our home hoping to shoot myself. c",) This is all I can say, It was faaaaareaking hard and difficult to shoot yourself. The timer, the running, the holding-your-breath after you've run to pose and then your timer sets off just in time for your half wink. I mean I can't do that. After all that, I gave up. I felt like a clown. I felt ridiculous. It was ridiculous.

so, this was me yesterday. After Yllac fell asleep, like a speeding cray cray bullet I picked up these two amazing thrift-find piece that I've been dying to try on since the day I got them. In my mind they would look great together. Even though they have opposing prints, but since the colors don't compete and stay in the same color pattern, they looked alright. 

Oh well, I really miss dressing up, for realzzz. But for the meantime, this is fun. This imaginary outfit... as if Im going somewhere. This should be fun right? Dressing up for no reason at all. I mean, i gotta do, what I gotta do.. yah know what I mean?

top and skirt: thrift
heels: Zara

June 24, 2013

This Morning...


I don't drink fresh brewed coffee anymore. And that is one of the reason why I miss Jayson so so so so so so so so so so soooooooooooooo much, because he makes the best fresh pot of coffee every morning - i wake up to a mug of it right on top of my bedside table. The first sip is always the best. Like my life depends on it. And this morning while Yllac was still drooling on his pillow I managed to grind some fresh beans, the aroma filled my kitchen like a heavy fog in my heart. It was like a perfume. Soon as it hit my senses a flash of warm fuzzy memories came to me. As if Jayson is here, working his way in our kitchen and he is home. I love it. It was like dreaming. But I woke up from my own dream when I tasted my coffee and it's not as good as Jayson used to make. But the smell...it was so him. I guess that's it - this coffee smelling thing, it's gonna be a morning ritual from now on until he comes home. c",)

June 19, 2013

Bye Summer! Glad To See You Go...

LAst Pool for Summer
LAst Pool for Summer
LAst Pool for Summer
LAst Pool for Summer
LAst Pool for Summer

I love rainy days. Today, I opened our bedroom windows for the first time since March, to welcome that calm and misty air brought by the rain. I love that the air is extra-extra cool these days. Can totally feel it in my bones. Last week, Yllac made his last pool dip to properly say goodbye to this year's summer. So yeah, goodbye summer. You are fun, but we're more like rain-people here. While we appreciate all those popsicles we ate because of you, it gave us a bad throat though. So, goodbye for now. See you next year.

June 18, 2013

On Father's Day...

Okay, we miss Jayson on Father's Day. Terribly. But I figure since I miss him and it hurts, we might as well try and do normal things on that day. Like....


Grocery shop on the early morning of Father's Day. We don't need anything that day. We just feel like going out and the grocery store sure ate up our time just walking around. We ended up buying lots of batteries. I mean we need batteries right?


On Sunday afternoon we went escalator riding hundreds of times. Yllac's timing is superb. Also, the watch. c",) it sings Beethoven.


We checked out the toy station and Yllac is in this particular stage where he knows what he wants when he sees something. He was inspecting this parking lot play thing for a few minutes giving me subtle hints that he like this toy. He kissed those cars a bunch of times. I mean, he's in love already. When I asked him if he likes it, he smiled and nod so he dragged this huge box on the way to the cashier all by himself. I guess he really really like it. 

samsung galaxy photos 995

For dinner, we both wanted pizza and pasta. It's not like we're gonna run the following day but when you miss someone, you just gotta carbo load. yah know what I mean? While waiting for our food I took a lot of selfies and Yllac got busy drawing with his ahrt. And then he got bored and started drawing on his arms. Creative ei?  

samsung galaxy photos 1033

And then before we went home I took Yllac (for the very first time) to my mothership. I bought 4 skirts. Yllac hates the place. He was pushing me out of the store the entire 3 minutes we were there. So I wonder if he's really my son. Weird right? 

The End. c",)

June 16, 2013

I Miss Yllac's Dad...


...Yllac's Dad is all sorts of amazing. He truly is. I miss him more this day. Happy Father's Day my love. c",) I love you. 

And to all Dads, especially my Dad and Jayson's Dad, Happy Father's Day. Thank you. We wouldn't be here without you. Cheers!

June 13, 2013

Pinoy Spaghetti with Aaaahrt...

Pinoy Spaghetti with Sausage Franks on a Pasta
Pinoy Spaghetti with Sausage Franks on a Pasta

freaky ei?
Yesterday's dinner was work of ahrt, or somebody has a got a lot of time on their hands. I mean, that's gotta be both right? This "edgy" spaghetti is cool especially if you have guests because my dear folks this is a good conversational topic - an ice breaker.  Prepare yourself for a lot of  wow! how did you do this?, this is soooo cooool, or something like that. But believe me, this spaghetti is the bomb! Trust me, you won't just feed your guests but you are gonna blow their minds. c",)

It's just simple really. All you need is a quick pair of hands.

Pinoy Spaghetti with Sausage Franks on a Pasta
Pinoy Spaghetti with Sausage Franks on a Pasta

I know! Easy right? Any kind of sausage will do. Hotdogs or franks is okay. And be quick on sticking those pasta into the sausage. And boil them right away. Otherwise the sausage will soggy the pasta and break them. Also use a large/wide boiling pot. Or you can break the spaghetti in half if you don't have a large pot. Sooo, basically that's it. 

Pinoy Spaghetti with Sausage Franks on a Pasta
Pinoy Spaghetti with Sausage Franks on a Pasta

yum! yum! yum! Yllac ate this without the spaghetti sauce. I guess the sauce will ruin the look of the pasta, at least for him.  

Happy Thursday my friends! 

June 12, 2013

This Boy Is Goofy Sweet!

talking to daddy
talking to daddy
talking to daddy
talking to daddy

May 5, 2013. Jayson's first call was answered by Yllac. I mean, look at that face. I mean, Yllac never answers phone prior to this. I guess he knows. He knows Daddy is away...and I think that is sweet. 

...that is all for now. 

Happy Independence Day Philippines!

June 11, 2013

My Dear Darling Husband Jayson...


So where is Jayson? I WILL TELL YAH...

On early morning of May 4, 2013 Yllac and me took Jayson to the airport and sent him to his new job to Qatar.

-the end.

not really. Am i the biggest annoying jerk you've ever met huh?

anyway, that's not all. Back to the airport, I hope i didn't cause him to be late on his new job because I hugged him extra longer and cried a little than i expected. But we have to do this for our family. We've always dreamed of a new adventure. We always wanted to do something new, to live somewhere new. Meet different kinds of people. We want to learn more about some parts of the the world we don't know. I love Bataan, I love Philippines. But we want something new. And that's what we're doing right now. So, Jayson moved out first. Hopefully with God's blessing, Yllac and me will move with Jayson early next year and start a new adventure as a family.

I miss my husband. Jayson and I, we've been together for 8 years. We see each other everyday since we started dating. He is my friend. I think in my mind he is my only friend since I moved back in Bataan. Before him, I was a bit of a loner. I can do pretty much everything my own. I eat alone. I watch the movies alone. I shop alone. I go to the gym alone. Pathetic loser. And then I met him and my world changed. I changed. With him I found someone who can take care of me. He loves me and does everything for me. He spoiled me rotten and suddenly I cannot function without him. Again, pathetic loser. Know what? romantically speaking that is super great. In real life and as a person, it is bad.  Real bad. Very bad. I can see that now. Because he's such a great pal and i love doing things with him that I cannot do a simple errand outside our home without him. Heck, I cannot even go out and buy a loaf of bread without him. Yup, that's me again - one big pathetic loser. 

My husband, he's a good man. I was never alone on my check up when I was pregnant with Yllac and never once did he let me go alone on Yllac's baby check up. I thank God for his dedication to us. He is a great husband and a great great Dad. We're so lucky God threw him over to us. And God knows I did a pretty great job catching him. So the first month he was away from us was difficult. Suddenly my rock was taken away from me and I am back to doing everything my own. The first few days was hard on me. Painfully challenging and it can get lonely if I keep on looking back on how things were used to be. So I did my very best not to do that and slooooowly, very sloooowly (woohoo!!!) I am glad to say, that I am getting my groove back. I am jazzing my way to trust myself again. I am braver. Well, not to toot my own horn, but boy-oh boy, I will have you know, that I am a good driver now.  I don't complain anymore. At least not out loud. Single parenting is hard. But it is the kind of "hard" where you become a good decision maker, it's the kind of "hard" where you feel like you can drive for miles and navigate any traffic, so you become independent and efficient. And above all,  there's no time for silly whining. Because who would listen to you the moment you feel like bitching about something right? Twitter and facebook are full of that, so you gulp it down and dwell only on the good stuff.

My life with Jayson is good. I don't want him away from me. It's not my story to tell but Jayson was under a lot of stress from his old job and very unhappy. But he's happy at his new job now. For once, I can hear him talk about his job with excitement. That's the kind of Jayson I miss for so long. He is happy and I want him to be happy. We skype twice a day. Thank you internet. You rock! I think, now that we're away from each other, we talk more than we used to. It makes me keep a pen and paper next to me all the time, and write the silly stuff and stories that happened that day, so I won't forget. So Jayson won't ever feel left out. I know he misses us. It hurts to think about that. But this is good for him and for our family. We are in this stage of our marriage where we need to sacrifice our being together for a while and look forward towards our future. In my heart that will be soon. Both of us making our own sweet lemonades from the lemons life give us. But I guess this is not bad at all. I am learning yet again. So this is all good.

Have i already told you that I miss Jayson? So much. Very much. His body and presence so familiar to me - the way he moves, his scent, even the sound of his heartbeat i know when i hug him. God, I miss his warm foot. My cold feet sure do miss their snuggles. I could go on forever talking about how i miss him but it seem cruel to torture ourselves with that. Let's just put it this way, I miss him and I love him more than my iced cafe latte and chicken adobo. 

on a very related note, i will have you know that I fixed our broken toilet flush this week. All by myself. So this is aaaaall good my friend.  

on a very unrelated note - SHOP UPDATE!!!

Happy Tuesday folks! 

June 10, 2013

Today and A Little Flashback...


Hello! Hello! Hello!

Okay, here it goes...

We've been sick for the last couple of days. Me with my stupid allergies and Yllac with his stupid baby tonsils. But we're fine now. After a couple of days of mommy snuggles and sniffing mostly on my part I am glad to feel alive again. So today I wanted to talk about a lot of stuff and update my shop. But I guess that's never gonna happen. Yup! My toddler happened and his curls happened recently (no haircut for you boy) and he happened to like my grandmother laptop with a fake apple sticker. So forget work. 

meanwhile, 2 years ago, June 20, 2011...


...we were sitting inside Starbucks, Yllac barely 6 months old, all tiny and drool-y and fatty and chubby. Oh. My. Heart! I swear to you right now, I wanna go back to that day and just nibble and bite him once more. Am afraid my fear as a parent has finally arrived. I don't see Yllac as a baby anymore. The lasts of his baby phase was way way way months ago. Being a parent feels like I have entered a time warp universe where  things happen faster than it once did. Bittersweet.

So, maybe that's it for now, until you hear from me again. Happy Monday to yah! I wish you good health and your toddler a mighty strong tonsils! God bless.

June 5, 2013

On a Monday...

mom and son date

Hi you! Oh well, there's nothing much to report from here other than last Monday we ran out of things to do. Suddenly I remembered my eyebrows. You know, those weird tiny hair on top of your eyes? And mine are sooo neglected. So Yllac and me took off to buy a tweezer and a good hair brush. You know, just the good ol' basic maintenance tool of every "modern" woman. 

mom and son date

Yllac was like, "mom I got this".

We've fallen in a predictable routine each time we're in the mall. And when I say mall, it's our small mall in our small town. A busy 4 flight of floors and sometimes air conditioning is nowhere to be felt. BUt Yllac likes the elevator. The routine goes like this, he reaches for any button, punch it and runs and hides at my back waiting for the door to open. He would then push me inside and him still hiding from my back holding on tight to my legs. Last MOnday was like a new day. Because all routines before that, he couldn't reach for the elevator button. But last Monday his tiny little finger just pushed that button. It was something new to my eye. It was a happy day. And just like that my womb is aching for another baby. Yllac is not a baby anymore.  But what am i gonna do. All babies has got to grow sometimes right? 

mom and son date
mom and son date

we jog in place while waiting for the elevator. Because our mall comes with a lot of hungry mosquito.

My favorite part about this whole growing up thing is Yllac loves to hold hands while walking. It's just the sweetest thing eeeever! We like to walk slow. So romantic. I mean, he didn't rushed me when i picked my tweezers and hair brush. He even picked his own teenie tiny brush and took it to the counter with us. But I did not pay for it. It has two missing bristles, soooo...

mom and son date

LAst Monday Yllac watched this girl jumped and jumped until she banged her face on the screen and it made him smile. Well, at least he did not laugh. He's such a gentleman. So he tried this 40php-per-ten-minutes trampoline to jump a little and crawled till his 40php ran out. On our way home we get to see this girl on the elevator once again and they waved bye bye to each other on our way out. It was like friends for a day. 

...soooo that's our Monday.

On another note, I will talk about my Jayson, my sweet darling Jayson and the book Gone Girl on my next blog post. Have you read it? What do you think of it? Is it stupid or O-M-G-annoying or doooo youuuu loooove it? 

Happy Wednesday folks! What was your Monday like? 


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