Now...

For the past days I've been organizing and doing a lot of cleaning up. Sorting out some of my forgotten boxes that holds a lot of memories. My favorite box are the boxes of our photo album - my family photos, from babyhood to high school, my college photos, our wedding photos and more recent photos  as a family of three. I know! it's like looking at my entire life in.a.box!! And there I was flopped on the floor feeling nostalgic about my life. I remember back in college I used to daydream about having a family of my own. On what it's like to be a mom and wife. To have my own house, to have my own life. I remember praying for a husband and for little babies years before. I remember our first apartment right after getting married and thinking this home is my new corner in the world. My new beginning. Most people as they grow old are desperate for the next thing, ready to move on. Me, I am a little slow when it comes to that. I am a little slow for letting go of now and sometimes my past. I know, It's not very positive of me. I am not not who I was at 21. Of course. I am not who I was 6 months ago. I am different now. So so different. Yet still so much the same. 

But I need to let go my past. Especially the painful ones. It was a long time ago, though I won't forget the pain...it will ease in time. To not dwell in the past means holding on to now. And now, I am a mother to this sweet soul I prayed a long time ago. Thinking about the future hurts just as the way we dwell on our past. Thinking about the future means growing up for my little boy and for a moment, my heart ached a bit... ached for how time goes... You  know, thinking how soon it will take that Yllac is off to college and marry the girl of his dreams and raise little babies of his own. The future gives, it also takes. 

Right now, I am learning the balance on grasping now and letting it go slowly. To enjoy what I am being given now, to celebrate each change of season and being okay to moving on to the next phase of life. Change is good. It means fresh start. 

So...yah know what I mean?

Anywhooo, let me share to you what's now on us here...

Now that my toddler is all legs and arms, I am enjoying this by making him wear the cutest little skinny jeans I've been keeping for him since he was a baby. I mean, skinny jeans are so stinking cute on little people.

Now that Yllac is a full grown toddler I don't have to break my hips carrying him when he's tired or just not in the mood for walking. He's more patient now and such a doll to take him shopping. This week I bought him his bubble refill. In toddler world, bubbles is a necessity next to food, milk, elmo and mickey mouse. Take my word for it. Yllac is crazy for bubbles , so crazy that he's ready to check-in to a bubble rehab any day now.

So tell me, when you eat your ice cream with spoon and fork, maybe it gives a whole new level of taste and uhm...class? 

Next week, ice cream and chopstick. We'll see.

Happy Thursday folks. Hope you're all having a great day.

Yllac's shirt and skinny jeans: Sm Kids Fashion (c/o)

The Art Of Putting My Baby To Sleep...

First of all, HI you! 

Second of all, I know I am gonna sound so dumb, but whatever, tell me again, is it Friday today? Because I cannot fathom how did Monday to Thursday come and go just like that. Like a snap and BAM it's Friday. It's confusing, but I love it. Well that's motherhood to you. The only day you remember is the day and time you get to sit and breathe and eat a bar of chocolate and think "what day is today?" and regret not eating a nice healthy breakfast, only to finish the whole bar like a marathon race.... I mean, it's crazy, I am beat. I am behind in what's happening in the world. Google Reader is shutting down? Why? But all i know is that, on the 4th of July (Pilipinas time, not Filipinas time), Yllac and me made some fancy bite size pancakes. That was yesterday. I took some photos but I cannot promise when I can share it here. Yah know, it's a mom thing. Blogging and motherhood, there's just no way for me right now to balance those two. I mean, you forgive me if I say, blogging can wait...right? I am willing to sacrifice a nap. Not always, but since I have a chocolate running through my veins now, so blog away. Someday, I will make it possible to continue this privilege of being a stay-at-home-mom and embrace blogging gracefully.

Anyway, Yllac is a dreamboat. He's my dreamboat of a toddler boy. He's sweet and cute and all that. He makes me forget about just anything else in this world, because, just like what I told you, he's a dreamboat. He's into jumping too. Lots of it. He's my baby kangaroo these days. And am a tell yah, baby kangaroos are tricky to sit and follow around. Yesterday, he dunked his big ol' head inside my purse, walked around with a bag on his head and sceamed mama! mama! while hopping. I am so overjoyed because of this child - mine and Jayson's lovechild. I want more of them. I want 12 of them. 

So here's the fun part of my life every night. yep! you heard me right! This happens every night. 

We share our bed with these two - Emo ( is it me, or Elmo is giving 10 different facial expressions here?) and Keekee Maw. Yllac likes them. He tucks them and sing to them, kisses them and rubs them and feed them. Sometimes he wrestles them and throw them off the bed. But most of the time, he loves these two. Three days ago, I had a dream. I was on the backseat of our car beside Yllac. Emo was driving and Keekee Maw singing Metallica. The only thing missing is Yayeebee and Jayson. That dream was perfect. Every night I feel like collapsing from exhaustion. But it was the good kind of exhaustion where it gives you a good long sleep. It was the kind of sleep where you cannot recall the exact time you finally drift off. It was good. You wake up the next day with a full tank of good sleep that keeps your engine running fine throughout the day. Some days over here can be very silent except Yllac making happy noise. He's singing and babbling things I sometimes do not understand. Two days ago, he came running to me and said, " mama, keemaw, keemaw, keekeemaw, keekeemaw". So we rescued keekeemaw under our bed. Yllac makes me so happy. If the highlight of your day is rescuing kekemaw, happiness isn't that difficult to find. Yah know what I mean? When I was young, I used to think I was happy. I am exhausted now, but happy and enjoying my life. It's like, I am literally sleeping with a smile on my face. Because who wouldn't be smiling sleeping next to a beautiful toddler and keekeemaw and emo? Tell me, who wouldn't? 

Happy Friday folks! I wish you a good sleep too.