August 23, 2013

Life After The End Of The World...


oh, nobody else here, just us two monkeys holding up a fort every night since Sunday

Hi you! Another end-of-the-world has come and gone, how are you holding up? 

So last Sunday, I woke up to a news of coming storm and cankle-deep water in front of our home. I am talking about my cankles here guys. Since I am three equal parts of chicken, wimp and puss, I rushed back inside to pack an overnight bag and took my chicken little with me to some place high and warm. Know what, I'm glad am such a mother-of-all-chickens because little did I know that this year's flood will reach our living room and that means another car trouble for me. I cannot deal with another car problem, so... woohoo God for you made me perfect : sissy and chicken and all that.

For the last couple of nights I was thinking a lot of things, most especially our home. I mean, the water went inside. I was trying my best to not think about it. I distracted myself with shoes (on-line window shopping), lots of ice-candies, books and the little angel on my shoulder must have gone dead because I wasn't reasoning with myself anymore. As a matter of fact I watched One More Chance for the very first time, drooling and smiling on my own each time John Lloyd looked into my eyes. Eeeek!!! Lloydie is a great illusion and distraction in one yummy sitting but I got to come back to Earth and face the mess of my home. Seriously, that movie is a bummer but John Lloyd is hot. By the way who names their kid Lloyd these days?

okay, moving on...

This morning I got a clearance from my good neighbor that I can finally come home. I miss my home, I really do, but I don't want to come home to a mess. At this point, putting my best chicken foot forward won't work. So here comes another fake courage from me unleashing my inner-zilla to take charge. On the way home I let my car blast off some Third Eye Blind and Jason Mraz and I find myself singing loud to it. I mean, its so catchy that even my chicken little is humming to it too. Somehow while getting ourselves a drive thru Jollibee food (yum) and singing to Jumper (Everyone's got to face down the demons, Maybe today, We can put the past away.....) I have become an emotional rock. You know, it does not mean having no emotions at all, it just means, I am slowly numbing myself to not let things get to me as much and use logic instead of the first emotion that pokes into my brain. To be honest, I've been exhausted for the last couple of days and going to just-been-flooded home with my toddler for the very first time since the storm hit our little town is a bit draining just thinking about the scale of the damage. Cleaning a mess needs a good strategy and it seems overwhelming to me as a one-clown-show with a cute monkey as my side kick. I feel tired already. So, I gotta do what needs to be done. First, I gulped down two Jollibee iced coffee to gear up (yahknow...drinking coffee makes you do stupid things faster), then i finally broke down and called my aunt to help me clean up. Yes, there's an aunt somewhere and she's thrilled to be hearing from me, even that one call is to ask for help. yup! prodigal niece.


..we like to dance and sing and take selfies in between cleaning up.

So, three hours later and an empty bucket of fried chicken , and an empty can of lysol, and not forget a big bouts of tantrums from my chicken little - the floors are clean, our home is mess free. Iiiiiii did it. With a lot of help from my Aunt of course and also today Id like to give myself a little credit for a job well done and for being brave when all i wanna do is hide under a rock. And for having the courage to slowly face this mess I don't ever wanna deal with. 

This week, before, during and after the storm I have learned to focus on fixing only things that are in my control. I even surprised myself that I haven't whined about the weather or boredom and all the things I normally rant over at facebook. I mean, Im not X-men's Storm to control the weather. (did i just give you Storm as an example? yikes. That's too much tv for me) The last couple of days I managed to practice saying, doing and thinking nothing when i felt like complaining or just getting angry at something. I mean, to avoid negative experience would be silly. That's something we cannot avoid while we're all here. But it's always effective to build a gap and shut up. Okay, i need more practice on this one. But seriously though, I just can't complain. My son and I are well, healthy and safe the whole time. So I got a lot of good things going on for me. Life's a peach. Also, it's good to know, this morning the world did not end.

Okay, I am a sap and a bit of melodramatic. Oh well, you know that by now.


So goodnight my dear hommies. I will leave you this photo of my baby duck while we were having our dinner on our table, in our home. Just us two ducklings being silly, making lots of faces and snot noises. I'm not particularly proud of this, this snot face I am making him do, but he's in this stage where he mirrors everything I do. It's a fun fun stage for both of us. Yah know, he still likes me and is not complaining yet.

I wish you a relaxing Friday and weekend with the ones you love. Take a long pause and savor the simple joys of everyday life. As long as we are here, we are truly blessed to be living this life.


while my boy is tucked away safely in bed, i can finally, slowly, calmly and completely fall apart because today I lost a couple of books.... To hell with reason, i love those books. So let me nurse my booboo away tonight, it's not about logic, it's love. Darn, I love those books.


Candycane said...

I'm glad it wasn't too much of a mess and that you are all ok :D

Sal x

Apple said...

i really admire you ms.denise, for being so bluntly honest about all things emotional, and for being brave facing all those things. If i am on that, i prolly freaked out and run away, on second thought maybe i too will unleash my inner-zilla.

Keep Inspiring.



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