August 8, 2011

Stop

stop and go

When I was ten i wanna be twenty. I just cannot wait to grow up and thought that another ten years added to my ten year old self would take forever. But It did not. And I can't recall now how was I as a 20 year old girl. Then another fast-forward-ten-years flew by so fast. Right now I am 31 and I just wanna stop time. BAck in my teenage years I couldn't wait to get a job, graduate, fall in love, get married and have a baby. I have always been one to speed up time. I don't know why exactly. Maybe it's the discontentment or unhappiness for everything. I don't know....But right now i beg everyday, every hour to just wait for a minute, stop and let this moment stay still. I look at Yllac sleeping right now and think that one day he won't be this small anymore. Heck!, he is not small anymore! And that got me thinking that Jayson and I will not be young anymore. Koffy will be four this coming October. He's not a pup anymore. He's getting older. Time keeps on moving whether we're ready for it or not.

It is those times that the four of us are together doing nothing or something silly, laugh and make fun of Koffy and Yllac, and Jayson looks over at me and smiles and everything seems well. Even though not everything is well, these are the moments I wanna remember forever and looking forward to do over and over again. It's these times I wanna cherish, it’s these moments in which i’d like to pause and savor every moment of them.

When I was young i want things to go and move faster. Not anymore. I can never stop time. I can never stop the growth of my baby, but i’ve learned to appreciate this hour and these times that slip by just a little too quickly. I’ve learned to see the beauty however challenging they may be in the small moments of my day and not wish them away.

6 comments:

Ann said...

So TRUE.
There are moments that we just want to capture in freeze frame.=)

Nice post Miss Katipunera, ^^ made me stop and realize bout some things.Important things, ^^

ghoent said...

i am definitely guilty of this. like what ann said above, thanks for this. got me to pause at mag muni-muni with my current state. :)

Karmazynowa said...

wow!I never thing you have 31 years old! you look so young and beautiful! I'm in this moment have 20 years old. I always thing (from my birthday) then I am old and i must be other person because I grow up. Know i chcenge my mind :D Your post is great and it gives for reflection !

ana b. said...

What a beautiful, bittersweet post, Denise! It's only when you have so much to lose that you realise how precious time really is.

I'm Cherry said...

We are really on the same phase....I just asked my friend if how can i capture everything with my little one, i just want to freeze everymoment. Sigh!

B-in-To said...

I love this post,I was thinking about the same thing today.I remebered when I was a kid and I wanted to grow up fast and at that time I felt like the time flew slowly.But right now,I'm more like I wish I could slow down the clock and I'm not in hurry to celebrate my bday.But that just the way It goes.Live hard love hard and relax :)ps:Yllac is such a cute little boy he'll be a hearbreaker lol.

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