December 31, 2012

Goodbye 2012. Hello 2013!!!

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Taking a picture with Yllac means a lot of blurry shots and basically lots of photos just like the first one here. Most of the time, as a mother, I do get a lot of simple but frank realizations from my son. When I wanted to capture the moment by taking a photo, he on the other hand wants nothing to do with it but seize the experience by exploring, checking whatever is new to his eyes. When we were in Vigan, Yllac fell in love with that little town and it's cobblestone streets. He stomped and walked every inch of it. He refused to take our hands and run as fast as he could to peek at every store and smile at everyone. He was so happy. I love to look at him so happy and to learn from this little person God gave me two years ago. It is sometimes difficult to reconcile the fantasy of what i thought motherhood would be like and what i thought I would be like as a mother in the balance of reality. There is a tremendous amount of learning from being a mom since day one. It never stops. You continue to learn. You will always make mistakes. Motherhood is a choice, and motherhood is a choice I make everyday. To put my son's happiness and well-being ahead of my own, to do the right thing even I am not too sure if it's the right thing. And to cry and forgive myself, over and over again for doing everything wrong. Being a parent feels like you're on-the-job training. Forever. 

2012, oh 2012!!! You gave me so much love and joy and so much heartache. 

We said goodbye to Koffy this year. 

There is a new job offer for Jayson this year too. And we're all excited for that. 

And maybe when I'm brave enough, Ill share this thing that's been giving me so much sorrow and so much courage to be strong and patient. Someday...when I'm brave enough.  

2012 brought me so much happy and sad experience I will forever keep to my heart. 2012,  if nothing else, has taught  me that the experience of life is all that matters, in all it's shade, in all it's glory. The trick is to seize the moment. When you're happy, you simply let happiness fill your soul and when you're sad, you let yourself feel the beautiful ache of sorrow. There is a lesson in failure. And there's definitely hope and a colorful rainbow at the end of every earth shattering quakes of your life. Trust me, I know. 

So, 2013 for us, for my family, is all about Seizing Every Faaaareeking Moment Of Our Lives! aka seize the moment, aka Carpe Diem, aka cliche, aka corny.

Let's rock 2013 everyone.   


Yanny said...

simple yet striking realizations. i hope you blog more often like this. i like the simplicity your blog brings may you continue to be blessed. happy new year! by the way Yllac is so big now grabe!

carolekaye said...

BOW ako sa realizations na yan dear! Happy New Year!!!:)


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