Whenever i hear or read or watch someone talk about how being a mother is the most difficult job of all the lahlahland...eh.. Im not sure if i can agree to that. Lemme tell yah mah friends - motherhood isn't easy and also not that difficult. Did I confuse you? Sometimes a day goes by without any difficulty, without tantrums, without crying. It's one of the easy, blissful days when my baby like to exercise his legs and walk on his own like he's been walking forever. He sits on the grocery cart so well-behaved and not once did he pick any item to throw in other people's basket or hold on to a bag of candy and not squeal the moment i take it away. It's a oh-happy-day day when he takes a scheduled nap at the middle of the day. That means no grumpy baby, early bed time and you're sure to wake up to a smiling toddler the next morning. Also it sure is a sign of a great day when your toddler kisses you full on the lips early in the morning without even asking for it. Awesome easy day fow-shoo. You see, on those days motherhood for me is easy. You just cannot help but tell yourself over and over again "how easy is this huh!". The house is calm. Even my hair isn't freezy. Seriously, my hair can tell you the condition of our mother and son state of calamity/calm-ity. Just like today. Yllac let me take a full bath. The whole deal - scrub, shampoo and conditioner. No banging on the bathroom sliding door. And yesterday, while we were out in a restaurant he was just sitting the whole meal. Just sitting and eating. No need to rush and bring us all the food, appetizers, main courses and desserts all of the same time. It was the most peaceful day of my life.
Easy. lemme. tell. yah..
But of course, there's always a difficult day.
Lemme tell yah how our day went a week ago...
cant believe I am actually saying and admitting this..It.was.hellish! My boy woke up really really mad. He was not interested on his breakfast. But insist on eating stick-o. Just stick-o. He doesn't wanna take a bath. He doesn't want his head scrubbed. Not interested in brushing his teeth. Does not want to wear pants. At this point, it is clear to me that he hates me. I really don't know why. So I took him out. We went to the playground. But the ground was wet. He kicked and cried all the more going back to the car. We were both sticky and hungry so we stopped at our usual coffee house. Have I told you that he cried and screamed at my ear on the way to the coffee house? Yup! My boy sure know how to speak his mind. And he made sure to let everyone inside the restaurant hear his angry thoughts towards me. Anyway, you ever dream of yourself without any clothes on -real naked and everyone's eyes on you but you're fully aware that it's just a dream but still it feels real embarrassing? Carrying a crying baby with everyone's eyes on you feels like that. But this is real and there's no way to convince yourself that it's just a dream. There's no waking up. My kid is screaming and I don't have the energy to go back to the car, buckle him up and hide back inside our home forever. It's too late buddy i kept telling myself. It took us 5 minutes to fully calm down. Seriously, the looooooongest five minutes of my life. And I don't kid. And this was a true story of my life last week. For half a day sometime last week motherhood was soooooo difficult and physically challenging. But you know what, it's okay to ask for extra assistance and help from strangers. They will always understand your situation. I realized that people are kinder to moms with toddlers. And they easily give you a helping hand even if you didn't ask them. All you need to do is smile at them and apologize for the craziness of your present situation. Because with a feisty toddler at hand the mood can change easy from shrieking to whining to full smiles and cooperation. You just need to hope and say silent prayers to angels near you to please please please magically tickle your baby's mood. And sometime later that coffee date Yllac turned cheerful and curious and calm. I finally enjoyed my food while he explored the place. And did I tell you even though Yllac was so upset, when I asked him to pray when the food arrived, he prayed on cue. With eyes open. I consider this cute moments as my light at the end of the tunnel. Because it is a sparkle of little light of a bad sour day.
...and then whatdahyahknow? I got a bonus. BAM! and just like that he was out. He slept from 5 in the afternoon till the next day. Talk about best day eeeeever!
So what I'm trying to say is, motherhood is neither easy and difficult. It was the best. It is full of everything. It is the best ride of your entire life. It makes you so dizzy from so many ups and downs and it makes you grateful for the chance. Today is a great day. Yllac was in a karaoke mood. Singing a lot of songs I've never heard before and it sounds so sweet. Today is sweet. Tomorrow is a surprise. We'll see.