December 11, 2010

Where Do Babies Come From?


Mary Daisy Dinkle - Where do babies come from in America? Do they come from cola cans? In Australia they are found in beer glasses.

Max Jerry Horowitz - Unfortunately, in America, babies are not found in cola cans. I asked my mother when I was four and she said they came from eggs laid by rabbis. If you aren't Jewish, they're laid by Catholic nuns. If you're an atheist, they're laid by dirty, lonely prostitutes. So this is where babies come from in America. 

Mary Daisy Dinkle - like Katherine Ramsay told me behind the bike shed. She said it's when two people go "nuddy" and rub on each other to make babies. I told her she's a liar and would go to hell and burn like toast 'cos babies really come from beer glasses and eggs laid by rabbis and nuns and "prosti-tubes". She said ladies get knocked up and bake babies in their stomachs for 2 years till they spurt out their "vag-eye-ners" with blood and tinned spaghetti.

- Quotes from the movie Mary and Max. - my fave movie of all time, for the last week or so. Have you watched it yet? Pleased do so, it's so cute.

So really, where do babies come from??? It's the hardest question a kid can ask right? When i was 12, i asked my mom that question. She said it's when two people love each other and when they kiss on the lips they make babies. Till i was 14 that's what i thought, that saliva is the main ingredient for baby making. So imagine my horror the day i knew babies do really come out from "vag-eye-ners".

Have a great day everyone! 

1 comment:

Smarla said...

Hahaha this post made me laugh! growing up, i actually never asked my parents how babies were made so I never knew until grade 7. late bloomer!


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