It was never known to me the amount of guilt a mom feels whenever she's about to leave her child to someone else's care until today. It's like leaving a peace of your heart somewhere far away from you. You don't feel complete and your mind travels back home ahead of you.
We're supposed to go out today. Just me and my husband for a real date for the first time since we became parents. Yllac's more than 8 weeks young now and we're so lucky to have some help in our home whom we can entrust Yllac with. She's not a nanny. (Okay she's Koffy's nanny actually) But she's been with us since the fourth month of my pregnancy, when it became too difficult for me to perform all my household duties. I thank God for her because she's a trustworthy person, she's nice and I really love her. I've been training/familiarizing her with my son for the last two months and since Yllac is a lot bigger now I let her baby sit him in the afternoon for a little while. And I can tell, she's always looking forward to it. I don't know, but one thing is for sure, I am a jealous mom. c",)
So today, everything was set for our much awaited date. I've prepared everything for Yllac before we leave. We're not gonna be out for long, max is 3 hours, and by then Yllac will be asleep. I keep on convincing myself that He won't even notice that we're gone. Then i received a text from husband confirming our dinner date but I replied - NO, we can't, not for tonight. I just can't. Am not ready yet. Maybe ill wait for another month? Am not really sure why but am torn. I feel guilty over something I am not even sure what it is. Is there a mother out there? Please tell me this is normal.
So this is my dress, supposedly for tonights date. Was planning on curling my hair, but since the date didn't push through i put it up again on my usual mommy hair do.
Today I've learned something about myself. Am really in that zone now. I have become a full time mom.
dress: Jenevieve Gozum
shoes: Go Jane
i salute all my working mom friends and to all working mommies in the world, who works outside their homes and still do all the work at home. I know it is hard. Because ALL mothers are working mothers. Hooray!