Walking...

...yesterday we walked around all day holding hands.( i love that he like holding-hands with me) He was grabbing on to my finger and he was leading me. More like Yllac was walking me.

For the past two weeks i put off blogging for a while. My mind is somewhere else, my body is somewhere else. So much far away from the computer. 

Fashion Blogging. Connections and a Lot Of STUFF.

First, I am so sorry I was a b***h. But let me make it up to you...

let me butter you up with a champorado...so are we good now? Are we good?

Okay.

Now you have a blog. Woohoo! Congratulations. You have readers now and get reactions from some people too. That's great. But you feel that you're not out there yet. Like totally-exposed out there. So you need connections and exposure. Again I am not an authority for these kinds of matter but I believe I am a huge authority over myself as a reader to distinguish the annoying kind of exposure and the classy subtle way. So it's a personal opinion.

Some are:

• Form a small group. Blogging sisterhood not sorority/mean girls. We are meant for community because we know we need each other. So contact bloggers same as your blog-age, same with your style or someone you feel most comfortable and form a "bond" so you can help promote each other. Having a group with diverse individuals is how we will find our security, also learn to help other bloggers and form a vibrant blogging culture. Do not go for the big-guns-bloggers yet. Don't even try to kiss their cyberspace-ass. That's blog climbing. And it's not classy. I suggest for the sake of your sanity, do not mind these bloggers. Do not follow their lead. Don't get me wrong, most of these bloggers are fabulous, jut like what I said, they've been doing this for the longest time. My point is, if you compare yourself to them, you're a toast. Blog outside the fashion blogging norm. Fashion blogging now is in a complete rut. Why/how dare I say that? It has become so lazy. They create a look. Picture.picture.pose.pose.do the duck face: with a caption: i went to Starbucks wearing this, or Do i look fat?, or say hello to my new babies, and bam! That's fashion blogging. I wish there was more concept and idea going through each post. But i guess some kids don't like to read. They prefer to "read" who are most likely on top of the envy-peddler bloggers, and wishing they were them. I read somewhere, some blogger wanting to be the next Laureen Uy. I hate to burst your ombre-bubble but dude, you have a penis! c",) Again, having your set of blog sisters will give you a stable hype. It may not be huge at first. But as long as it is stable that is enough. Remember blog success isn't an overnight thing. 

•  Do a make over. This is so girly-girly and so fun to do. Do not wait for sponsors to fire up your blog. Example here. See?

• Great Styling Idea. Example: One dress, twenty ways. See the Uniform Project? She landed a book deal because of that and it's for a cause. Eat your heart out wanna be sponsored bloggers. 

• Guest posting. Say, it's your finals week, You can ask your blogger friends (new or advanced bloggers) to guest post on your blog. It's not laziness. It is a perfect example of blogging strategy. Example here. The idea is to get your name out there. Promote yourself and your friends too.

• Do an interview. This is work. The real kind of email job you do to contact people. You can showcase all your favorite bloggers through interview. You can ask fun, witty questions that shows how smart you are. Examples here and here. 

• Links and credits. If you're going to use other people's photos or ideas make sure you link it back to them. Or at least try to mention it. Links in blogs are like "poke" in facebook only it's not that annoying. The owner of the photo will surely notice some of her traffic are coming from your blog. So it's a great way to get noticed. 

• Hashtags. But do not annoy your followers with the abusive 30 hashtags. Not funny. 30 # will cost you more that 30 un-followers. Trust me. 

• Twitter mention. If you buy something and you want to tag the brand, that's good. That way they will notice you and they will probably tap you for your dream of a lifetime "collab". ("probably" being the operative word)

• Lookbook and chictopia. 

• Join groups. Flicker groups. You can join here.   

•  Blog comments. Instead of doing 100 comments a day to all the bloggers you follow, narrow it down to ten. And make it meaningful like you read the whole blogpost. And do it constantly to the same number of bloggers. But leaving comments like this:

 " cool shoe.

xoxo, 

dumbledore

follow me and Ill follow you.

www.overtherainbowwithdumbledore.com

follow me on facebook

follow me on chictopia

follow me on lookbook

follow me on myspace

follow me on friendster 

follow me on twitter

follow me on instagram "

....seriously, what is wrong with you?

• Swap. Clothing swap. You won't spend anything with swapping. Hello? The Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants? Or dress, or Jacket. Go here. Your dress will go places and so are you. Remember the beginning and  future of blogging is sharing. So share, swap. Set up a day with your blog friends. Document everything, all the clothes or make up you brought and the snacks. (gossip too, of course, but you don't have to blog about it) These are the blog contents we are talking about. Ideas. Bring back the fun to blogging so we can stop obsessing about freebies. 

• Create your own event. If you're not getting invited to any, go make one. I don't know exactly what kind of event but you do the thinking this time. I mean, by this time you can ask for sponsors and pitch your idea to them. I have no problems with sponsorship especially if it's for a cause. What cause? Feed the whale. Save the frogs. Save the gangsta. c") Etcetera, etcetera. And just be-cause you have nothing to wear it does not count as cause. 

What else? Please please add more.

But then again blogging-success has no formula. You may do all of the things mentioned above or more but still your blog isn't reaching the hype you want compared to others. You may copy this blogger's outfit from head to toe, post after post but still you're not making any progress when it comes to exposure. I have no doubt that there are bloggers telling themselves that they too, with enough hard work and great content, could match this bloggers success and pull in an extra money per month just by blogging. But, the reality is that for every top blogger X there are thousands and thousands of lookalike bloggers littering Bloglovin’ and Blogger. They’re mostly indistinguishable and they’ll mostly stay that way. Success in blogging is more about luck and connections than hard work. Im telling you, blogging is weird. But sure, when it hit you, success may come and sadly when it happens (for some) here comes this enabled, entitled, I-am-the-most-important-person-on-the-Internet blogger persona that slowly corrupts a normal, well-adjusted person into an a-hole. If you want to blog, good for you! But don't do it (again) for fame and free stuff. Sadly the big buzzword among bloggers is “sponsorship.” They always look for a way to sponsor their blog, their outfit posts, their shopping suggestions. They’d love someone to sponsor their vacations. Hell, why not sponsor their entire life?  Is that the big Filipino Blogger Dream? Really?

Let me tell you a little secret. I have a friend in the US working for a clothing company and according to her, sending items aka "collab" in exchange for a blog mention will not be part of their campaign strategies this year…they are not seeing increase in sales compared to the amount of clothes they have sent out… companies are finally seeing that style blogs don’t have nearly the influence on the buying habits of their readers as they have made it sound. So to sum it up, no matter how much a reader loves a blogger or the item she’s wearing, if they don’t have the money, they won’t buy anything. My friend (i swear, this friend of mine is real. Scout's honor!) went on to say that bigger bloggers will most likely still receive some free goods but the days of anyone-with-a-style-blog being able to wrangle free stuff is ovah! Woohoo! This could change the whole face of style blogging, making it even more competitive as bloggers try to reach the level necessary to appeal to companies still offering swag.

So if you're a blogger with a one month old blog looking for a way to wrangle free stuff, am sorry but it's time for a blog make over. But then again, we do not live in US. c",)

I'd love to pride myself on being a simple person, a mom, a wife, living a simple life. But honestly speaking I want more. What kind of "more", I am not entirely sure.  I am, after all, human just like everyone else, I am a woman, I fall prey to the same human vices and temptations. Everyone wants to be successful. Everyone wants to stand out. You may see this blogger's success and you may think that it's just as easy to replicate it. If they can do it why can't I? So you try and hope for success, but really, how do you measure success, especially blogging success? By page views or the number of comments? By recommendations or write ups? By the amount of free products you receive? I'd always been wary about balancing life with an "actual" blog so maybe, I just continue to observe from the sidelines. Sometimes I wonder If only I said Yes to all the invites or those "collabs", where I'd be now? Would I have the same type of exposure and opportunities that many of my blogger friends have now? Would I really desire those things to begin with? I love fashion. I love clothes and shoes. I want a gazillion of them. This blog shows that. But that's not a career for me. I know in our heart of hearts, all of us understand that there has to be something more to life than money and fame. I mean, if you let yourself be honest, the more we have, the worse we feel.

As a blogger, we have some sort of influence to our readers. Even just a little, of course we have. Each time we pitch our voice, share our photos and ideas out there, a life is in a balance. They may be young or old and even with just one blog post we could sway them positively or in other direction. I was saddened by a 14 year old Filipina girl on instagram. Her profile says, " i love fashion bloggers, they are my idol, someday I wanna be like them". Whatever happened to I wanna be a doctor, or a teacher or pilot or the President? I know it is not our fault. But it made me sad.

Denise Katipunera is a collection of events in my life that makes me happy. Some days I am in a rut. Some blog posts reflect that. There is no way I am trying to live in a twee-happy life through this blog. Some people love playing to the crowd and know how to reward people who appreciate them with a certain air of greatness. I am not a politician. I can't do it because I'm always aware that I am far from the person they imagine. As I always say, a blog is just a blog. And I am more than my blog. The blog trend will fade away, and I am happy to be part of it. But It is not my whole life. And I hope, your blog isn't your whole life too.

Again I am sorry. But hey I believe that any idea that comes from a place of honesty is all worth saying. Maybe you should do it too. And yeah, I should stop making speeches like this. Okay, that's it. The End.....aaaand thank you for your time. 

Fashion Blogging. The Ugly Truth

Denise Katupinera circa 2006.

Hi girls,

For the past months I have been receiving quite a lot of emails and messages on my on line shoe store. And guess what it's about? - a young blog(s), aka one month old blog,  asking for a "collab" aka send-me-free-shoes-and-I-will-abuse-your-shoes-for-total-exposure-among-my-less-than-50-readers-in-google-connect-and-15-followers-on-blog-lovin. Charming! Some emails starts with this - "I stumble upon your store a week ago and I think your shoes speaks for my style and I am open for collaboration." What? She's not even pretending to kiss my old fat ass or pretending to drool over my store since the day I started. 

And oh!, this one too, the best seller:

"Hi! I am open to sponsorships, ads and other projects. Visit my blog here ....  My style has always been self centered, it always depends on my mood, whenever I feel like wearing on a specific day. I am obsessed with sky high heels and rare clothes, clothes that barely can be seen in stores, which makes you stand out and some people will have a hard time finding the exact same dress you are wearing. It's always been a motto for me to "Never leave the house under dress" even without make-up I always see to it that I'm in my most fashionable outfit. I blog about everything though, fashion does not stop me doing other things. I also blog about my travels, making an emphasis on what i wear. I thank you so much, hope you consider me." So I clicked on her blog link and it broke my heart. There I saw her best picture with her best pose and best pout. And my reaction was, OMG girl, who hurt you? who did this to you? you want me to call the police? 

Everyday, I do receive these kinds of emails that make me mental slap my forehead each time I see how young and naive these girls are to fashion blogging. They have no idea what they're getting into. I have been meaning to address this whole brand sponsorship and collaboration with bloggers for months now. But weary on sounding offensive and to appear know-it-all are two of  my biggest fears as internet-Denise, while real life Denise's fear are  big hairy spider and the faaaareeeeking flying cockroach. And let's be honest and reasonable here because it has been a huge annoying dancing color-block elephant in the room among the fashion blogging community now. And I don't think these young bloggers know how to do it. This is not an attempt to pro-tip you on blogging. Believe me there is no such thing as the right or wrong way, but there is always the dignified way. 

First let me bullet point you some of the requirements to be a fashion blogger. (In no particular order)

1. If you're young, no job, let's say a teenager, you will need rich parents to buy you shoes, clothes and the rest of the trends. A loaded mom and dad to let you max out their credit cards.
2. btw you will need internet connection too, a computer and camera. And if you're lucky, a boyfriend with photographing skills to follow you around for your ootd. A plus point too if you have a mad Photoshop skills. That way you can always shoot yourself against your bedroom wall, away from the prying eye of the mass, so you can pout and pose your heart out.
3. If you're young, no job, no rich parents, still studying, you can always eat a big breakfast ala construction worker con carne everyday before school, skip the double grande mocha latte with whipped cream for instagram, so you can save money and hit the thrift store for a student budget friendly fashion. And I am serious about this. I always think that young people are supposed to be full of ideas, over flowing with creative juices, and skills and talent. So Diy, sew clothes, do alterations. A young girl with a Prada isn't really impressive. Okay, I am a bit jealous. But seriously, a mad emailing skills to ask brands for free stuff does not count as talent too.
4. A job! you will need a job to buy stuff. It sounds boring but that's the real deal. Fashion means clothes, shoes, bags, accessories. You need moolah to fashion blog.
5. Talent. Meaning you should be able to write. Produce a content. I know you can't always beat the top bloggers with their designer shoes and their affiliations and their puke inducing photo ops with the super rich and the botoxed and the semi-famous. But trust me, if you have an IQ of a thousand and can actually write, damn girl you are going places.You will gain readers, and I mean real readers that will come back to you everyday, with real comprehension ability for written words. Find your voice. Be a blogger with a cause extraordinaire. (that sounds cool ei?). 

Anything else? If you have something to add, please do so.

Now let's talk about these local bloggers who made it. Aka the Cinderellas of the blog world. The bloggers who gets invites everyday to attend events and do collaborations with brands. Please consider that these bloggers are old. (Peace!) When I mean old, meaning they have old blogs. Blogs they'd started from between 2005 to 2010 or even way before blog became a word. Maybe some of them were rejects from the field they love. Journalism drop outs, real life stylish girls and gays, snubbed by the magazine publications. These outsiders with talent, individuality and independent thinking who blogged as an outlet of their frustrations and inspirations. These are normal naive girls and gays (the innocent, organic kind) who work hard and thrive on passion with the power to express themselves. And after a couple of years, say 2010 here in the Philippines, the brands made a notice of them. That these girls and gays, the pioneer of style blogging here in our country, has the appeal and influence. And voila! the rest is fashion blogging history.

I do not mean to offend anyone by this post. I am pro blogging. I support blogging as a way to express yourself. So it's really sad how bloggers these days turned out to be. I love how the old school bloggers were so shy and really genuine with their blogging-success stories. How they squealed on the first email they received from a reader and how they almost died over the omg-I-can't-believe-this-brand-emailed-me for a brand collaboration. I am just sad how "collab" aka send-me-free-shit is used among young bloggers these days. I hate to compare these girls with a beggar but that's just how they are. A beggar is a stranger who knocks at your door throwing themselves at your mercy for a spare change and food. Their survival hangs by a thread to other people. At  least they are the legit kind of beggar. They are homeless, no family, no source of income, no internet, no twitter, no facebook. So don't beg. There is no dignity in begging and shooting thousands of emails for free stuff. You have a home, an iphone, so i believe in my heart of hearts that you have no resemblance to a beggar. If I put my own spin to this thing called collaboration these day, I would probably email Cebu Pacific and pose as a travel blogger to get a free airplane seat so I can put some content on my faux travel blog. See what I mean? Blogging itself is a already a privilege. And however huge you think you are in blogging, asking for a free shit isn't business like at all.

I guess the only unsolicited advice I can give to anyone, young people who read this is study, finish your education. How about education for the sake of education. Blog for fun. Do not blog for fame. No koryente, no internet. Goodbye internet fame. Don't blog for money. Stop reading the IFB. They are full of shit. When they said, we (bloggers) can command as much as $50,000 for a brand campaign. No. You won’t. Unless you are Atlantic Pacific or Rumi or Bryan Boy, no you won't. Only about 10 bloggers can do this. (And not one of them is a local blogger)You still aren’t one of them. And when they said, We’re legit enough to be awarded by the CFDA. Unless you are Scott or Garance, this in no way legitimizes your vanity blog. And don't quit your day job. DON'T. And prove yourself first. And do not compare yourself with other bloggers and please, please PLEASE do not clone these bloggers.

So, what does this mean for you if you’re a blogger? If you’re blogging because you’re hoping to retire at 30 with a closet full of free stuff and a bank account loaded with money from online sponsorships, you’re probably doing it wrong. It will never happen if your focus is all about monetize monetize monetize. Stop trying so hard to be a sponsored someone and try for interesting or fun or original for once.

love,

Denise Katipunera, one time second placer in the Bataan Provincial High School Debate 1996, thank you very much!

ps,

please don't hate me. I am a very nice person (ask my Catholic dead Grandmother) but not today. Not today. But you can always find in your studded-glitter-fashion-forward-heart the gist of this blog post. There is no intention of hate. Not now, not ever. Try to read this with an open mind. Pretty please? Pretty pretty please, with Brad Pitt on top? Thank you very much. 

pps,

here's part 2. Fashion Blogging and The Ugly Truth 2.0

Story Of My Life

I was going through my hard drive today and I saw this photo. Usually, to have more space in my life (the external hard drive, that is) id delete this one and some many many more. But I just can't fa-reeeking do it.

You see, my dear darling husband takes all my photos. Past. Present. Future. And maybe if I were good, the next life too, in heaven. And i love him. I guess, it's about time to humble brag about how awesome photographer he is. I mean, he's shooting me (with the camera of course) in manual mode even since I talked him down to shoot me (again with the camera) for this blog. He didn't have any formal training or attended any seminar. I guess having me in his life is enough inspiration to do his best. He did not say that. Am sorry. I lied with that one.

Moving on....

I mean, I have no mad posing skills, I do not have a mad-fashion-blogger sense. Geesh, I am not a fashion blogger. But he thinks I am, so I have no choice but to feed his illusion. And playing along I got him stuck with me.Poor guy.

The point is....

Here is a photo he took, weeks ago  (with a manual focus prime lens, my spirit leaving me) my dear darling husband behind the camera who happens to be holding a squirming baby boy, trying to get a clean shot of his wife playing "glamorous fashion blogger".

Oh well.

Today I forced him to stop by the port. He did not complain. He got out of the car carrying Yllac and his camera on his shoulder. He told me to jump to the sea stop walking because "I am on the perfect spot" according to him. He took a couple of shots with Yllac's little hands on the lens and half the time those little fingers found their way through Jayson's nose. 

I can't delete these photos. Too many stories. 

So listen...

...people of the internet, my husband, is the husband of my dreams!

he is my knight in shining photographerness slash electrical engineeringness in one.

That photo sums up the last 7 years of our life in silliness. And I love it. 

 

Gifts

90% of my closet is a charming combination of thrift buys and gifts from friends, families and people I came to know from blogging. I am more than happy and grateful for all these wonderful gifts and all these generous people with  heartssss of gold who ask nothing in return. Told you they are godsend! I don't deserve them, I know deep inside I don't - these nice people and their gifts. It takes a lot of grace to accept and not throw myself on the floor and make a big deal about this and eventually do the rude thing by "out gifting" them in return. Maybe I should shut up now and just say thank you and believe in myself more because of these people in my life who "likes" me. 

So please, let me say thank you a million times as I can (hope not to irritate you). I owe you so much. I know, it's more than just stuff. Personally, when someone is generous towards me I consider accepting the generosity as a way of letting the giver be a more chivalrous man. 

To all the givers out there, God bless you most! ... and good afternoon to you. 

Apt. 9 Dress, ring, necklace: gift

wedges: gift from Sarah

belt: I forgot where I bought it, so right now, it's almost free. c",)

Details

I had these floral wedges and this purse for months just hiding in my closet. I think they are the prettiest but I had no idea why am finding it so difficult to wear them out till now.

Hi! How are you?

I have been blogging since 2005. I know that doesn't make me an expert but just a mere old fart in the internet and in real life. Am not good at it but it's kind of a huge part of my life and i just realized that blogging is like a muscle that you need constant exercise to get it back in shape. And right now after so many days of cooling off from it, am all flabby and wobbly from over sleeping, but I am working hard to get back my rhythm. You know what they say, it's one of those days. Only for me, that day stayed mostly every single day. But hey, I missed you, that's for sure.

Now this single post feels like a cardio. Am out of words. Will do this again tomorrow.

Goodnight. 

Friends, I Need Your Blessings

....or I will throw myself down this road.

If you don't understand what am talking about , it's okay, It's me. You see a couple of months ago I got an email from The Philippine Blog Awards that I received a nomination for the Beauty and Fashion category, all thanks to Ezra Montemayor for nominating me. And today, a very special day, I made the final cut. See here. (Evidence????) Seriously? The Philippine Blog Awards???? Big Deal! It made me really happy to think that there's someone out there thinking of me as a "blogger". Sometimes it's difficult for me to believe in myself and in what I do. Most of the time I cringe at the thought of me actually reaching out to people, afraid am being arrogant for accepting praise and comments, afraid it would get into my head. Because seriously how can it not get into your head?

Blogging changed my life. But not really. You know what I mean?

Recently my family got hold of an old magazine where I got a little feature alongside other Manila's top bloggers. My brother was like "Ate Ikaw to? Nasa magazine ka? Paano?" (Ate, is this you? You we're in a magazine? How?) Why didn't you tell us? ...well among many-more-other questions. I have no idea why I didn't told them. I can't remember my reasons last year. I know it's a big deal, at least for me. Deep inside it is. I am happy. Am leaping with joy. I remember not sleeping out of excitement. But each time am about to tell them I shrug it all off and think it's not that big a deal. So forgive me for not telling this one to you. I tried to make a post about it, but it never happened. Again I don't know why. Guess, I really need to believe in myself more.

You see I blogged because I am a loser. I still feel the same way till now. But that's another story I will tell you soon since I am (now) confident enough to admit how much of a loser I am.

It's a crazy world out there. But am glad I have come to "meet" you all here. I am grateful for you. I don't say that because I wanna butter you up. c",) But seriously am happy doing this little thing called blogging. Am glad that through Denise Katipunera, I am able to talk about my life as a wife and a mother in a positive way and to share with you my latest fashion interests and my thrift adventures. I am happy here. Denise Katipunera is my other home and I hope you feel that you're always welcome in here.

Anyway, this is long.

I am happy that's all.

I hope you're happy for me too.

love, Denise

ps,
i finally told my Mom bout this and she took me out shopping today. But Ill stick to my recent thrift finds. After all I look so much better in ukay dresses.

pps,
this is my 5th attempt to publish this post. I am the oldest chicken in the whole world. true story!

ppppppssss,
I wanna win.

The Girl With The Messy Hair

click here to continue.....promise, there's more.

I am Not Here Right Now

I, Denise Katipunera will spend the whole day at I Am Bourgeois. But you're welcome too to join me there. I hate being alone. Eineehow, Lauren is away somewhere really cold and am just dying with jealousy for the girl is dressing fabulously in layers. She's soooooooo loving it. She's close to killing me and probably you too. So lets go and just crash her blog shall we?

Where Were You Last Night?

Me? I spent the night here.

God bless everyone. Please follow Bloggers United. Why? I don't know. Bloggers have this policy of don't ask, just follow. Green Peas y'all!

Can I Say a Few Words?

I want you to know that am thankful for you. You're all amazing and warm and nice and your emails and messages come in the most perfect time of my life. You have no idea how much you all inspire me. I am not a writer, not in a millions years will I be a fashion expert and I don't know many things about life. I am just here telling my story. I never thought that through this little thing called blogging I've picked up friends along the way. It's a tremendous gift having you around listening to me. I want you to know I really do love you. seriously... what i love most about blogging are all the magnificent people i've had the opportunity to get acquainted with or meet through this blog. Thanks for being so warm and kind.

I have no idea what's my calling in life or what will happen to this blog a year from now. Sometimes I get myself confused as to why am I still doing this, maybe it's because of you. At first i am blogging just for me and my husband and maybe if they're interested, for our children too. But I am happy you are here too. Honestly, I love having you here. I hope I can give back to the blogging community who inspire me and lifts me every single day. If I can touch just one person through this blog then am okay. 

So that's it. 

Back to self promotion again..... 

this outfit made me so happy. Both are thrift. Nice ei? The red top is actually a dress and the maxi skirt is actually a dress. And I actually feel good wearing both of them today.

Have a great evening my friends. Oh have I told you already how amazing you are? 

Yes you are! 

ps,

i love you

Dear Ampalaya Anonymous

I.am.fucking.sorry.you.hate.me. 

ps, 

Haters hate.There's nothing I, or any psychologist/shrink can do about it. But still Jesus cares for them, as much as Satan wants them for hommies. c",)