A little Confused

I'd like to think that I know my son. There are days he get me so confused.

Yesterday i was holding him all day. He doesn't want to be put down. I'm telling you it as hard. The first few hours are the easiest part, but at the middle of the day it feels suddenly so numbing. My back hurts, my neck, my arm, i think even my brain hurts. Honestly I was never prepared for this, no one is ever prepared for this. I am not complaining because Yllac won't stay this small forever. Then he'd smile and talk to me and think to myself, even if i can't go out, just stay home, and to rock and dance him all day is okay. It is just fine. It is a day well spent. 

So that was yesterday. Today he doesn't want to be held. He's laying all morning on his crib and right now on his hammock. And me, feeling a little unwanted. 

Some days seem a little hard and there are days when everything feels easy. So I guess everything is still normal.

Babies are so small but very complicated.  And this baby has got me on the palm of his little chubby hand.