Positive

Exactly, a year ago today, i peed on a stick, because in my heart I just felt we're finally pregnant. I was five days delayed and I am never getting delayed. After a few seconds my heart sunk. For what I saw is just one red line. I went back to bed feeling so low and called to tell my husband that nope, not this month again. I find myself beginning to cry from despair. Despair because i heard the sadness from my husband's voice when i gave him the empty news and more despair because we've been trying for months and am beginning to think that there is something wrong with me, that having a baby is never gonna happen for us. But the truth is, there is this little voice of hope telling me to get up and check the stick once again. So I went back to the bathroom and saw another red line veeerrryyyy sloooooowly forming. It's not as clear as the first line so am sure that it's still a negative. So i went back to bed with the stick on my hand, praying that the other red line would become red-red. But it did not. So i called my best friend (who's very much convinced that that morning i will wake up finally pregnant) and told her that I am not pregnant because the second red line that formed isn't as red as the first. She just screamed. I felt my brain explode. You are pregnant, you idiot, she said. And she screamed more, instructing me to go see my oby right away. So we screamed goodbye at each other with tears in our eyes.

So anyway, fast forward to now, here he is , my happiness - my two red line smiling at me. He is beautiful. I love him a million times. April 21, 2010 - I heart you. You are the day I will always remember for the rest of my life.